God may not have always given me everything I think He should have (like I deserve to receive anything from God anyway), but I am still sure that God is real. The mystery of being a disciple of Jesus is that as you grow closer to Him, the more you get to know Him, the more you realize how much you don't know about Him. Friendship with Jesus is a continuous growing process in which God becomes both more familiar and more mysterious at the same time.
"May God give you the understanding that you don't need to understand Him in order to love Him." - Mike Yaconelli
I am sure that God is real because I have experienced a relationship with Him. I have felt His presence, seen His glory, known His truth, heard His voice, and have felt his touch. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that God exists because I know He has worked miracles in my life and in the life of my family. No, everything is NOT always fine-and-dandy in our lives. Right now, as a matter of fact, Deanna and I are praying fervently that our house sells quickly so that we aren't stuck with two mortgages (our contractual renters backed out on us right after we secured the mortgage on our new house). But, do you know what? I do not have any fear. I can't explain it other than the fact that I know God has his hands over my household. I can reliably put my trust, my hopes, AND my fears in Him and know that His plans are the best for us.
It is easy to become clueless... just follow God for a while. The disciples were a good picture of "clueless" in the Bible. My goal is to not become a person who "has all the answers". Those kinds of people were the ones that Jesus called "nasty names" in the Bible. I want to know Jesus more intimately so that I can become more secure in my questions - that He is my Answer.
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